The Detachment Glow Up: Care Less Receive More

You’re not being tested… you’re being asked to let go.

In this episode, we’re taking it back to our roots and diving into one of the most misunderstood (and most powerful) universal laws: The Law of Detachment.

Because here’s the uncomfortable truth—
The tighter you hold on… the further it moves away.

We’re unpacking why your desires feel just out of reach, how “white-knuckling” your dreams is secretly blocking them, and the energetic shift that turns chasing into attracting. From relationships to business to fertility, this conversation will have you rethinking everything you thought you had to do to get what you want.

We’re talking about:
✨ Why attachment = resistance (and how it repels what you want)
✨ The difference between “giving up” vs. true detachment
✨ How to live in the “gap” without spiraling into lack
✨ Real-life moments where letting go made everything fall into place
✨ The energy of “this or something better” (and why it’s a game changer)

If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking:
“Why isn’t it happening yet?”
“What am I doing wrong?”
“When is it finally going to be my turn?”

This episode is your reset.

Because detachment isn’t about not caring.
It’s about trusting so deeply… you don’t need to control the outcome anymore.

Press play if you’re ready to stop forcing, start receiving, and become the version of you who knows:
what’s meant for me isn’t something I have to chase.

It’s something I allow.

Transcript

kim 1:38

Hey guys. Gina and I are back together again, and this episode is taking us back to our roots because we originally started this podcast talking about the universal laws, and today we wanna dive into one of the lesser known laws outside of the main 12 that we've already covered. The law of detachment. You've probably heard the phrase. If you love something, set it free. I don't chase, I attract, or it's not the destination, it's the journey. All of these well-known quotes are rooted in the idea of detachment. The law of detachment says that to acquire something, you must relinquish your attachment to the outcome. The core idea is to let go of the death grip we have on our desires, which often stems from fear or doubt. When we are attached to something outside of ourselves, we're desperately trying to exert our control over it. But that thing actually has control over you because your happiness or your wholeness is then dependent upon it, and the more you focus on the lack of that thing on your incompleteness or inadequacy without it, the further you push that desire away from you, your vibration becomes incompatible with it. When you are in disappointment of not having whatever it is that you want. Or fear of maybe not ever getting it. You're not on the same wavelength as the U that already does have it. And as Abraham Hicks says, as you beep that drum that makes you feel worse about not having it, you go in the opposite direction of it. Your life is always going to be in the gap of not having things that you want. You'll get your desires and then you'll experience more contrast and more desires will come. The contrast is good. This is where you sift and sort and get clear on what you want, but ultimately. You're always going to be living in that gap of wanting something that you don't yet have, and how you feel in that gap is what life is. Being happy in the gap in the process of creation and anticipation and eagerness and faith and trust. This is the sweet spot. It's getting out of the, it's. Taking too long energy and getting into the energy of, I can't wait to see how God or the universe brings this to me. Detachment is not giving up on your desire. It's giving up on the strain around your desire. It's not deciding. I don't want it anymore. It's deciding. I no longer need to worry about it. Force it, chase it, micromanage it, or measure my worth by its arrival. It's not even, I'm fine If it doesn't happen, that's actually just wounded resignation, fine, whatever, I'll survive. That's not detachment. That's just trying to protect yourself from disappointment. Detachment is simply being okay if it does not happen in the exact way, time, or form you thought it would or wanted it to. It's when you come to terms with the fact that my wellbeing is not on the line here. My worth is not on the line here. My peace is not on the line here. I prefer this, but I'm not broken without it. I'm happy and whole as I am right now. When you stop needing it to happen, in order to be okay, you become more available for what is truly meant for you. You can want something very much and still be detached. In fact, that's the ideal combination, clear desire plus no resistance. Because your desire is not the problem. Your attention to its absence is the problem. Every time you say, where is it? Why is it not here yet? What am I doing wrong? When will it happen? You're not in detachment. You are an active contradiction. You're asking for something with one part of your being and pushing it away with another. So it's not about becoming numb. It's not about becoming passive. It's not about pretending that you don't care. It's about caring in a clean way and clean desire. Sounds like I would love this. I know it's possible. I'm available for it. I can enjoy my life now even before it arrives. I do not need proof today in order to trust what I know. So today we're gonna show you how you can start holding your dreams and desires with an open hand rather than a clenched fist, because this is the energy that magnetizes your desires to you. Gina, I think you've got some stories for us today. Do you wanna get us started with those? First and foremost, love everything that you just said, especially bringing Abraham Hicks in it. So for our listeners, if you don't know who Abraham Hicks is, it is a woman who goes into a meditative state and channels a collective of souls, and they are called Abraham. And these are amazing. Manifesting techniques and it's all about mind control and controlling your thought process and learning how to detach from the outcome so that you can draw those things to you. I was obsessed with her when I first started my spiritual journey, and I start all of my students listening to her and learning her principles because it is the beginner's way of learning how to manifest. And so when I was. Dabbling in Abraham Hicks. Okay. This was when I was first learning, and this was a million years ago, but I had two businesses in two different locations that I was working one full-time and one part-time. And for those of you that know me, you know that I had a hairdressing business and then I was starting this psychic business and both of my businesses were across town from each other. So as soon as I got off from one, I would drive across town and go to the other. I was completely overwhelmed and I kept on searching for a location and I was searching for a location to bring them closer together, less drive time. I was white knuckling this situation. And when I say I searched everywhere, couldn't find anything, and I was stuck in the muck. I decided to take myself on a little trip. I went to Mexico with the intention of figuring out what to do. Do I find a new location? Do I merge my businesses, put them in one location? All of those questions came up, and I remember this day so vividly, I was laying on the beach reading a book. I got this energetic impulse, and all of a sudden the answer came to me. I do not wanna combine my businesses. I need to keep them separate and find someplace that is nearby, or businesses that can be closer together. I had this huge emotional release. I was sobbing on the beach in the middle of the day. I had zero pina coladas. So this was not like a, I'm a tipsy gonna cry kinda situation, but I had this huge emotional release. I'm sobbing on the beach. I was not gonna combine my businesses. I was gonna find a location that was closer to. I get home from Mexico and I'm in my office and doing my psychic work, and that particular day I walked out of my office, looked across the street and saw this amazing house for lease. I called the owner and apparently it had been there for months and I had just not seen it. All of a sudden one thing led to the other and I combined both businesses to have the hair salon and my psychic business all under one roof, and it just showed up. Even though I had that strong emotional reaction of I didn't wanna do it. It released my attachment to everything that I was trying to figure out in force, and then boom, it showed up almost on my doorstep across the street from my doorstep, as a matter of fact. It was my introduction to the law of detachment. It was really cool. Yeah, that kind of reminds me of, this is totally a different subject, but when you think about dating and re relationships, oftentimes people will say, I met my husband when I had given up on men, or when I had decided I just wanted to be single and have fun. And it's that same thing where they like released that. Control that need to have something. And as soon as they did, their partner came in. Which I think dating relationships is a really good way to talk about the law of detachment because we all know that when you are attached in a relationship that repels, that is not an attractive quality. It does not attract,, if you think about. Even when you're getting to know someone or meeting someone, imagine like being at a bar and. This guy comes up to you and he's all over you. He's just obsessed with you. He doesn't even know you, but he's just obsessed with you. He's convinced you're the perfect woman for him. He has to have you. And think about how that makes you feel. Like you just can't. Yeah. You can't wait to get away from him. Meanwhile, the guy over in the corner that hasn't even looked your way, that's the one you want, right? Absolutely. Always. And that's why this is a universal law because it fits in so many different categories. When you are so attached to something, it repels it from you because it's like you need it. It's not a want, it's a need. And oftentimes I think that's really rooted in this fantasy rather than reality. Because if you take that example. The fantasy of who this person is, they're never gonna live up to what you've got in your head about them. And that's the thing pretty much with all of your desires, you've got these fantasies about how amazing they are and how they're gonna change your whole life. And once this happens, then all of these other things are gonna happen and then I'll be happy and then I'll, whatever, I'll find my partner and then my whole life will be complete. That's never the case. If you think about any of the desires that you have had in the past, I go back to thinking about like my license when I first got my license, that was. Huge for me. I've never been so excited about something in my entire life. Your first taste of freedom. I gotta have my license. And I was so attached to, walking out that day with my license in hand that I actually failed the test. That happened so often. That happened to me too, because you've got so much into it. You are, you have to have it. It means so much to you. You're holding onto it so tightly that it repels it away from you. At the end of the day. Of course I got my license and I think I totaled my car like a month later. Realized driving was scary.

Gina 13:01

Oh my God.

13:01

Then and now, fast forward to today, I hate driving. It's like that with everything you know. Getting married, having kids, getting the perfect job. Everything has pros and cons. There's light and dark in everything. Even children, you think this is, that is the most amazing thing in the world, in my opinion. But at the end of the day. It's not all sunshine and rainbows. There's bad days with that. There's things that you don't expect. You're not thinking about those things. When you are attached to that desire, you're only thinking about all of the good.

kim 13:35

And I think when it comes to detachment, that's really. What it's about is getting away from that fantasy of whatever you think it's gonna solve for you, it's not gonna make you whole, it's not gonna make you happy. You have to be those things now in order to attract it. And then it's just gonna be a nice addition. But rooting, getting yourself back to the reality of the situation that, nothing is that important. Whatever desire you have is not, the end all, be all. It's not gonna make you whole. It's not gonna make you happy. That happens outside of that, absolutely. You have to be happy with where you are. But replace the word happy with in alignment. When you are energetically in alignment, meaning you are of sound, mind, body, and spirit, when you are aligned, you automatically feel happier, right? Your aura is bigger, it's more voluptuous, and those things are able to come to you easier because in the world of Kabbalah. When you are happy, your vessel, your body, your spirit expands to hold more light, and when it expands to hold more light, you become more like the creator and the more like the creator you are and your thought process and what you think and what you do, the more blessings come and the easier it is to bring it in. And so that is super, super important to be in alignment. When you're in alignment, it is easier to detach from how, when, why, all of those questions. Yeah, I always say the how is not up to you. You don't need to know every step. You don't need to know the next 1000 steps to get whatever it is that you desire. You, you do need to have the next step. You need to take the next step. But ultimately, like when you look back, the how is never up to you, how things come to you. You could never typically. Dream it up on your own. And so getting out of that of it has to happen in this way and this is the only way that it can happen. That's where you need to be. You have to get out of that kind of mind frame and say, the how's not up to me? I want this desire. I've put it out there, and now I know it's coming and I don't need to worry so much about when it's gonna come, how it's gonna come, if it's gonna come. Yeah, type bears. Listen to this, right? Talking to myself here a hundred percent. I am in recovery, I am a recovered control freak, but sometimes I revert back, I have to always keep myself in check. I really wanted to, I wanna dive in a little bit. More into relationships on this because I know you have a great story. I know how I have a great story. So it's interesting when Nicholas and I met, his sister-in-law hooked us up on a blind date. She had been trying to hook us up for a decade prior, I was. Control freak, white knuckling, uninterested, doing all the things. And then, I saw Nick's sister-in-law after I had just gone through a breakup, days after, and she's oh my God, I have the perfect person. And I was like no. Give me a year. I need a year by myself. And a year to the date she sent me a text message. I'm having dinner with your blind date. Are you available? My reaction was, ugh. I need another year. Okay. That was my reaction, but I said, okay, fine. I'll go. And I was so detached from this that I didn't really fix my hair. I didn't put on a ton of makeup, like I just threw on whatever. I looked all right, I didn't try super hard and I also wasn't nervous. This is a blind date. I've never been on one. Hopefully he's cute. Hopefully we have a good time, but also it's a day date so I can get out of it if it's no big deal. I was not invested in this at all whatsoever. And I had also said this prayer. I had been saying this prayer that is huge. I had learned that my picker was off in the dating world, and so I created this prayer to God, my angels and my guides, and I said, listen up, my picker is off. Please send me the person that you see fit, not the person that I'm looking for. And when I really started praying that Boom, Nicholas came in. Same thing with my husband too, because you released the need to control the situation, the need for that to work out in this particular way. And that was the same thing with Kyle. I had gotten out of a bad relationship. I was ready to be single, I didn't have any faith in men at the moment and didn't want one, and, was just having a good time. And then he came into my life. I don't know that I would've ever, we went to school together for four years. Never. We had to have crossed paths. Yeah. Never, noticed each other for whatever reason. And then all of a sudden, we were brought together and it just. It felt when I wasn't looking and I don't think he was really looking either at the time. It just happened, but we were both just living our best lives and that's what brought us together. Not that we were like searching for the perfect person. We both just weren't there. We weren't trying to find that., So I think, yeah, that happens so often. It really does, and I experience this a lot in my readings, Kim. I have had clients in the past, control and white knuckle a prediction so hard that they've pushed it away. And I didn't think that was possible. I really didn't think that was possible.'cause God gives me my predictions in a way that like wiggles around all of that. But I have witnessed that maybe two or three times. It's not a crazy amount of people, but I've had. Two or three clients over the course of my career that have been so chaotic and controlling in their mind that they have literally pushed away the prediction. And when I went back in and looked at it and talked to God, talked to my angels about it, they were like, they're not ready. And so we have to hold this off until they're ready, meaning they have to get into alignment. They have to get into detachment before that prediction would come in. It's fascinating stuff. I wonder how many times that's happened with, and I know that this is a touchy subject, so I wanna be careful here. But with pregnancy, because you hear so often,, that people get into this head space, where they're tracking everything. They're, so controlling over the process of Just so focused on it and really, focused on the lack of it. Each month, that each month they're getting disappointed and when is it going to happen? And they're,, tracking those days and down to the, the exact day it's gotta happen on this day or else it's not gonna happen, because of the cycle and this, and I just wonder how often that, pushes that further down the line for them because it does feel like. They are not enjoying the process anymore, yeah. Of even connecting with their partner, because it's become this thing that has to be done, and so I do, I wonder how often that pushes. That away. You hear about that all the time. I was just at at lunch a couple weeks ago with some friends of Nicholas and they just had their baby, and she's like the cutest, itty bittiest little thing ever. And I got to hold her. But that's what she had said. She said. As soon as we stopped trying to have a baby, we got pregnant and it happens so often. You know this Kim. I work with a lot of women on fertility issues and work with them energetically. I have a crazy high success rate of helping and supporting women on their fertility journey. But I will tell you one of the first things that I do and that I teach is stop tracking and get back to bonding and having intimacy with your partner. That's the first thing that we do. It's stop using your tracker. Don't use your ATO fertility monitor. Don't look at anything. Focus back on the bonding and the intimacy between your partner and you. And more times than not, that is the quickest fix ever. But then there's other steps after that. It's so common with that because you have to track everything when you're trying to get pregnant. You have to track your ovulation and your cycles and your days, and it's all very masculine. Action. Oriented. And to receive a baby, it's very feminine, so it's hard to switch in between the two energies to receive that to come in. Yeah, that makes sense. I always wonder though, if you've been trying for a very long time and you've been tracking for a very long time, you know what days you're fertile. So how do you get out of that mind space? Like how do you just like. Try to ignore it and still hold the desire and still, it is it's it messes with your mind a little bit, but I think you're right. It's just going back to, you know what, this has, this needs to be enjoyable again. We need to enjoy our life, we need to enjoy each other. And at the end of the day, this is going to happen. When it happens. It's not on my timeline. You gotta believe in divine timing. And if it's not happening right now, it's maybe because, like you said, you need to get into alignment and you need to stop focusing on it. You need to focus on other things in your life and make sure that you're in that joyful, happy place without a baby first. And side note on this is a little magical, so I have to add this in if there are soon to be mothers listening to this. So another reason why babies don't come in other than controlling and white knuckling is that. The babies will choose when they want to come, and they might want to be in a particular Zodiac sign that's gonna help them with their life purpose and give them the energy that they need. And so they might push it off a little bit and be like. No, I don't wanna be a Pisces. I need to be a, I need to be a Virgo. Sometimes it is like that. And when it does happen, it all makes sense for our soul groups and what we're learning together and teaching together. You think about your kids and you can't imagine them any other way. They are exactly who they were meant to be, you've always known them. You cannot control that process. It's got to happen when it's supposed to happen in divine timing. I hope that's helpful for women that are trying to get pregnant because I know that's such a tough one to get your mind around and to try to practice detachment with. It's really tough.'cause I know how important it's to people. Oh, absolutely. Another tough one is the law of detachment with business. The L of detachment with business. When I first started my psychic business, I was like so perfect at this and I would just put stuff out there and people would sign up. Back then we didn't have a concentrated environment. I was one of a couple people in Kentucky doing what we did. It was awesome. Put it out there. Tons of people would book. Then as things started to evolve. I would put something out and be like, oh my gosh, I have to have this many people in this event. I would push and I would force, and I might get those people but it didn't feel good at all whatsoever. And so now I really practice when I put something out there, I say a prayer at the end of it, of releasing control around it. With every event I do, with every retreat I do, there's this buildup of energy to create, share, and connect. Then once it's launched, I detach from the outcome. So it doesn't matter if zero people sign up or a hundred people sign up. I'm meant to serve who I'm meant to serve. Those five people, if I get five people that sign up versus the hundred, those are the people that are meant to be there.

Gina 26:48

It's detaching from six what your version of successes. Maybe I help guide that one person that needs it more so than a thousand other people. It's really meaningful in that way. I always say this prayer, God guide the people to my events and my retreats that need it the most, that are gonna help the collective as a whole. I just sit back and wait. This is forming. Oh my gosh. We got these people coming, and the excitement comes, but I'm not attached to the outcome at all whatsoever. If there's one person, great. If there's a hundred people, awesome. But I look at them the same. It's like that, set it and forget it, you do what you are called to do, you do what you're aligned to do, and then you just have faith that what happens is meant to happen. Success, failure, these are all meanings that we give to things. In the meantime, you could call it a failure, but everybody's going to have failures. That's how you learn, that's how you grow. You're meant to maybe start out with a couple of people at your retreat and really get the feel for it, and really get good at it, and then have more later. I think about somebody who I've followed a long time is Amanda Francis. She's on, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills now, and she's not making a very good name for herself. I hate to say this, but she's being very misunderstood on there. But she talks about, because she's like this money manifestation queen, and she talks about how when she first started putting out these videos, her training videos, nobody was buying them. But she spoke in these videos as if she was teaching to millions of people, and that's what she kept in the back of her mind was millions of people are gonna watch this one day. And so nobody was buying it. Nobody was buying it for however many years. And now millions of people watch those videos from 10, 15 years ago. Wow. You think about that, she's in that energy of it, but she's not. So connected to that outcome right then and there. Because she knows eventually it's going to happen. That's what detachment is I have this desire. I know it's going to happen. Maybe I'm not seeing it right now, but that's just the way it's meant to be. That's divine timing. That's the timeline, as it is. Oh.

kim 29:07

Another thing that makes me think of that with set it and forget it is, I feel like everybody's heard the Jim Carey story.

Gina 29:13

Oh

kim 29:13

yes. About him writing himself that million dollar check and he, it was early on in his acting career, he wrote a check to himself for a million dollars and the memo section put for acting services rendered. And he looked at it and he, felt it, he believed it, he put it in his wallet and it's been in there ever since. He put in his wallet and he forgot about it. He then focused on enjoying his craft, enjoying acting, and that was his focus, was just having a great time doing what he loved to do. Then I think it was 10 years later or something, when he actually did get a million dollar check for Dumb and Dumber and manifested it 10 years later. Now, can you imagine if he was. So connected to that million dollar, so like white knuckling that outcome for 10 years, he probably would've given up, he never got the million dollars. He was disappointed every month. He didn't get it every time he got a role that it wasn't a million dollar role, but no, he was like, I want this and that's my desire, and now I'm gonna go enjoy the process and that's it. That's, again, that's what detachment is. So we talked about the Jim Carrey check before and after we talked about it. I did the exact same thing. I stole the idea. So I have a check in my wallet right now for a million dollars. I love that. And you inspired me to do it, you and Jim Carrey. So it's in there. And me and Jim Carey, you know we go hand in hand. Absolutely. Absolutely. I don't know why I haven't done that. I need to do that. You gotta do it today. For sure. We gotta be on the same page. Even thinking about our podcast, Kim, like the charm life. Project podcast. In thinking about that now this is the easiest way of the law of detachment is ignorance, right? So for sure what you guys don't know is Kim. Usually on a weekly basis, she'll send me an email with how many downloads we've gotten, how many people are listening in different countries, different apps, all of those things. I have no clue what these download numbers mean at all whatsoever. Every single time I get an email, I'm like, hooray. We're successful. We're absolutely amazing. And then, oh, by the way, we had an amazing first year. It was one of those things of, it was ignorance, but it was a detachment. We ended up having a fantastic first year of the podcast because my ignorance was there and I had no idea what to expect. There was no attachment to anything because I didn't know what to expect. Then it turned out successful. Yes. And we weren't so focused in on we have to make this, some kind of monetary, we weren't so focused in on having to make it something successful on having to make money from it, on having to have so many listeners, or this means it's successful and this doesn't, it's, it was just this, let's just have fun and do this and see what happens. Yes. At the end of the day, it's been, it's done fantastic. It's done great. Better than we could, have imagined. I believe that's because we're completely detached from the outcome and yeah, ignorant to it too. I don't know what that means either. What do downloads mean exactly? Are people listening to the whole episode? Are they following it? Are they. Yeah, I dunno. The amount of emails and text messages that we get from people on a weekly basis saying, oh my gosh, this really helped my mind. Or Oh my gosh, this is amazing. It inspired me. I'm gonna check this out. The ripple effect is happening in such a beautiful, magical way. So to me that's success.

Gina 33:04

The Law of detachment is really about letting go, letting God, and just really being in alignment. Kim has some really great mantras and things to say to yourself that will set you up for success so that you can implement these tools in your everyday life. The how is not up to you. So whenever you're putting a desire out into the universe saying the how is not up to me, this will come to me in divine timing, in the most divine way. I also like this or something greater. The how is not up to us, the actual result is not up to us either. We can have desires and then we can actually get things that far exceed those desires. I believe that's the way it's meant to be. That gets you out of that. It has to be exactly this. It can be this or it can be something greater. Really like that one, because then it's what magic are we gonna call in with that? Always reminding yourself, I am whole, happy and complete without this, and when I have it, it's gonna be even better. I'm whole. I'm happy. I'm complete now. I think that just keeps things into perspective, whether you're looking for a partner, whether you wanna have a baby, whether you want the perfect job, whether you want the million dollars, you're whole happy and complete as you are right now. Amen to that. If you all want other podcasts that are gonna support you in this, you can look up Esther Hicks. David Gingham is also another really good one to tune into, so the Law of Detachment. Let go, enjoy, be You. Thank you for listening to another episode of The Charm Live podcast and we'll catch you next week. Bye.