Sn 2, Ep 9 - Why NOT You?

In this solo episode, Kim shares a funny moment with her two-year-old daughter that turned into a much deeper reflection on fear, dreams, identity, and the question so many of us quietly ask ourselves: Who am I to think I can do this?

From feeling embarrassed to own her dream of becoming an author, to realizing how often we disqualify ourselves before we even begin, Kim explores what it means to stop shrinking, start showing up, and become the kind of person your kids — and your younger self — would be inspired by.

This episode is a reminder that the courage, confidence, and belief you had as a child is still within you.

Why not you?

Transcript

Speaker 1:39

Every now and then life hands you a lesson in the most unexpected way. I'm Kim back for another solo episode this week, and the inspiration for this one came from my daughter saying something to me that stopped me in my tracks. I was standing in the kitchen one day minding my own business when my then 2-year-old daughter strolled into the room, looked me dead in the eye and said, ever so fiercely, you are not my hero. Mommy. I was shocked to say the least. My kids have said some pretty wild off the wall things to me throughout the years. Mean things even. But this one felt next level. I.

Speaker 2 2:19

Shocked as I was. I reminded myself that there was no way my 2-year-old even knew what the words coming out of her mouth meant. So I assumed it was a one-off and hoped she'd never find that particular combination of words again, but it wasn't far from it. Actually, this went on for weeks. Her yelling at me, you are not my hero mommy. With that same serious look on her face, her little chubby finger pointing directly into my soul, and each time it stung a little bit more. You guys, she said it was such deep conviction with such a strong emphasis on the word. Not that I couldn't help but feel slighted, I'd irrationally think, okay, but why? Why not? What have I done? I can't tell you how relieved I was to walk in on her saying this exact same phrase. To my husband sometime later. You are not my hero daddy, and I thought, oh, thank God it's not just me that she's saying this to. Then one day we were watching her favorite movie, Moana, which she'd probably seen 20 times at that point. While we hadn't paid one bit of attention to since the first go around when we heard Moana yell at the demigod, you are not. My hero, my husband and I immediately looked at each other and laughed, breathing a huge sigh of relief. So this is where she learned those words. She was simply repeating what she'd heard over and over again from her favorite character and her favorite movie. But regardless. After asking myself the question, why not so many times, it made me realize the better question was why would I be her hero? After all? What had I done to earn such a title? I mean. You know, aside from the fact that I carried her around like a bowling ball in my belly for months, had my stomach cut open to bring her into this world, and then cared for her every hour on the hour with no sleep and anxiety through the roof while recovering from major surgery. Aside from all of that, at this moment in time, in her 2-year-old little brain and beyond, why would I be her hero?

Speaker 3 4:43

Heroes like Moana are these brave, courageous characters who face their fears, overcome obstacle after obstacle, and then against all odds achieve greatness by accomplishing their mission, their dream. But in these stories. The hero never starts out as a hero. They're normal, flawed people just like you and I, who simply had a vision or a mission or the audacity to reach for more. And that's when it hit me. While I had never even thought about wanting to be her hero, my daughter's sudden insistence that I was not, certainly had me asking the question, why not me? Why shouldn't I be her hero? And asking myself that made me crystal clear about one thing. It was no longer about me, it was about her. I had to get outta my own way and see the world through my little girl's eyes. Who did I want her growing up watching? Was it the unsure of herself, mother, the burnt out mother who settled for good enough and never took any chances, never pursued her own passions, her own dreams, her own goals? Or was it the mom who went for it, who faced her fears? The mom who refused to give up on her dreams? The mom who inspired her to reach for her dreams too. I may never save people's lives or an entire island like Moana, but that doesn't mean I can't inspire her to live a life fulfilled, because isn't that what we all want for our children? Not to be a doctor or a lawyer or an author, but to live a life filled to the brim with passion and purpose, and perhaps most of all, joy. That's what I want for my kids. And what better way to help them do that than to model that behavior, to live that kind of life yourself. Most people never ask, why not me? Instead, they say, well, not everyone can be a hero. And in that same respect, how many times have you heard or found yourself saying something like, well, not many people make it as a writer or an artist, or a musician, or an entrepreneur. But meanwhile, the truth is some people do make it. So if that's true, then why are you telling yourself that you can't, that it's not possible for you? Why are we putting ourselves in that category before even trying? Why are our dreams so crazy to us when someone else out there is doing it for me, that fill in the blank was always a writer. Before I published my book, I was too embarrassed to tell people that I was even writing a book, that I wanted to be an author, that I had a dream that was different than most other people's dreams. Saying it out loud always made me go red in the face, and even after I wrote a book and published it, I still hated talking about it because who was I to do something like that?

Speaker 4 8:02

Why should anyone care what I have to say,

Speaker 3 8:05

Who do I think I am? I'm certainly no CS Lewis or JK Rowing, that's for sure. But I'll tell you who I am,

Speaker 4 8:15

I'm someone who's doing what I love and getting better at it every day. I'm someone who's getting knocked down constantly and reminded of my shortcomings, but I keep trudging ahead anyway, refusing to give up. I'm someone who has the courage to pursue my dream, no matter how crazy it might sound, and I'd be willing to guess that for most people listening right now. There's something in the back of your mind too, whispering to you even now as I speak, something that you would love to be doing if it wasn't so crazy, if it wasn't something you were better at. If it wasn't something you could actually make money doing, really, if you just had a little more courage to go for it. A little more faith in yourself. I think about a conversation I had with a friend a while back, right after I published my book. She was one of the first to read it, and she called me to talk about it, and she was all pumped up about it, and she told me how much it spoke to her, how much it ignited within her, but then she said. The thing is, I just don't really have anything I'm passionate about. I don't know what that one thing is for me. I don't. I don't think I have one. And I said, well, what do you like to do in your spare time? What would you love to do all day, every day, even if no one paid you to do it? What do people compliment you on? What do they ask for your advice about? What do you love to learn about? I already knew the answer to this, and I'd venture to say, most good friends could tell you yours even if you can't identify it yourself. And sure enough, she said, well, organizing, I guess. And she gave that little embarrassed giggle after like, uh, that's ridiculous. Right. And I said that right there. That's it, because that's exactly how I used to sound when I talked about being a writer. Even now to this day, when people ask me what I do for work, I list off what I do for Blue Mass Freight solutions, our logistics business, my husband's passion rather than my own, and only sometimes if I'm feeling comfortable. At the very end, I'll trail off and embarrassingly say, and I'm an author oh and a podcast host too. And honestly, every time I seriously hope they don't ask me any questions about it. It's ridiculous. And logically I know that, but it's because it feels so out of the norm. It feels so much bigger than what little old me should doing. Well, who does she think she is? That's what's going through my head. So trust me, I'm talking to myself as I say, all of this too. Whatever that thing is for you, it doesn't even have to be something you get paid for. Of course, that's amazing if you can work that out. But at the very least. Find a way to do more of what you love. What matters is that you are using the gifts within you because when you are lit up, you light up the world. And yes, I know that sounds a little cheesy, but I believe it's true. I think what the world needs more than anything is people doing what they love to do. People in their own lane, immersed in the things that light them up.

Speaker 5 11:36

There's a reason why one person can write an incredible book and another can make an incredible pot of soup. There's a reason why one person loves children and another loves medicine. Another plants, another design, another coaching, another. Fashion. No two people have the exact same dream or feel the exact same call. There are subtleties and intricacies and ways of perceiving and being and expressing that are unique to each of us, and it's up to us to pull those things out of us and bring them into the world. We come into this world with so much confidence knowing that we are meant for great things and we are reminded constantly of this. You can do anything you want to do. You can be anyone you want to be. You can achieve whatever you put your mind to. Believe in yourself, follow your dreams. Reach for the stars. It's okay to make mistakes. Get up and try again. You can do hard things. You can do amazing things. And somewhere along the lines, people stop telling us these truths. So start talking to yourself like a kid again. You are brave, you are strong, you are capable, you are smart, you are important. I think about my daughter and a conversation we had a few months ago. She's three now. We had found a snake in the yard and we hadn't been able to catch it, and it was big. I did not like the looks of this thing. Okay? And it was hiding under the kids' trampoline. So of course, I'm freaking out about this. So I'm talking to Chloe about wearing her boots in the yard from now on and what to do if she sees the snake. You know, don't try to grab it or chase it. Just come get mommy or daddy. And that little girl looks at me and says, I know what to do if I see that snake. And I thought, oh, this will be great. What are you gonna do, hun? And she goes on some long tangent about a bucket and the water hose, and somehow this is all going to come together to help her catch the snake. And I said, no, honey, you're not listening. You can't catch that snake. It will bite you if you try to catch it. And again, she looks me dead in the eye as serious as can be. And says to me, mom, if that snake tries to bite me, I'll just bite it right back. Like this little girl is not afraid of anything. She thinks she can do it all. Somewhere along the lines though, we lose that, but it's still within us. So next time you start thinking that maybe your dreams are too big, or you find yourself asking that showstopping question, who am I to think I could do this? Think about that little kid inside you. The one who believed, the one who wasn't embarrassed, the one who didn't yet know how to count herself out,

14:34

Because again, why not you?